Today the Valley was mired in a baffling drama concerning the whereabouts of the club’s clairvoyant and soothsayer Mystic Monica.
With just two days to go before an all important “must win” fixture the press had gathered at the Valley for the all important “reading of the stones” by Monica where she would have told - with spooky accuracy- the result of the upcoming Saturday fixture. Gasps and mutterings were heard around the room as Minty Murray made the shock announcement that there would be no reading today as Monica has “gone missing”.
Police are pursuing several leads in an effort to explain the disappearance of this much loved psychic, often seen sitting in her shopping trolley exchanging friendly banter with passers by outside the Lidls food store. It’s understood that she was last seen being roughly escorted on to a Valley Express coach driven by Reg “the Driver” Varney as part of a special, no expense spared, evening planned by Alan Pardew at the Savoy for the players to “fill their boots” prior to their trip up North.
Police are also focusing their enquiries in the Blackburn, Lancashire area where there have been reports of a discarded shopping trolley near to one of four thousand holes. Police are refusing to say which one of the four thousand holes is under investigation but assure the public that they are looking into it.
With just two days to go before an all important “must win” fixture the press had gathered at the Valley for the all important “reading of the stones” by Monica where she would have told - with spooky accuracy- the result of the upcoming Saturday fixture. Gasps and mutterings were heard around the room as Minty Murray made the shock announcement that there would be no reading today as Monica has “gone missing”.
Police are pursuing several leads in an effort to explain the disappearance of this much loved psychic, often seen sitting in her shopping trolley exchanging friendly banter with passers by outside the Lidls food store. It’s understood that she was last seen being roughly escorted on to a Valley Express coach driven by Reg “the Driver” Varney as part of a special, no expense spared, evening planned by Alan Pardew at the Savoy for the players to “fill their boots” prior to their trip up North.
Police are also focusing their enquiries in the Blackburn, Lancashire area where there have been reports of a discarded shopping trolley near to one of four thousand holes. Police are refusing to say which one of the four thousand holes is under investigation but assure the public that they are looking into it.
