For a while now here at Confidential Towers, there's been a strong rumour circulating through these draughty halls, that those pesky superior beings in the Solar System are stepping up their act.
The Superiors (or Aliens if you prefer to get scared) have long been watching us making a hash of things - hoping we will eventually see sense - but even with their superior intellect, have not been able to figure out a way to help so many of us to escape from the planet Earth's final implosion.
After many years of close monitoring and observation via Google Earth Plus, they've devised a series of basic tests to determine which of us are truly worthy to be given a window seat on the Last Intergalactic Transport out of here.
The first, and simplest test, - known as the Earthling Idiot Test- involves removing the plastic wrapping from a newly purchased CD using hands only i.e. without the use of tools such as kitchen knives, forks or high powered laser cutting gear.
The other day, a fresh newly web purchased CD held the ulimate insult with TWO layers of plastic. Imagine... after finding the right pair of glasses, a suitable fork from the cutlery drawer...finally removing one wrapper, only to find another equally difficult layer underneath.
Sad to say that Confidential failed miserably,almost destroying that very silly brittle box. Still the music was pretty good. Looks like I've lost my seat place on Operation Earthling.....Who wants to live in a place exclusively inhabited by clever brain-boxes anyway ? I bet the parallel Valley on the Other Side Of The Universe is rubbish too, with the parallel Addicks winning every week....
