A Legend In My Living Room

A strange start to the week for all us bloggers and blogging smart arses. Something's missing, something's different. What is it ? I know what it is ...there's no Frankie. No Mr Grumpy Bollox to re-align yourself with. No apprentice Victor Meldrew of the web, masquerading as a Charlton supporter....Looking at his last blog he talks about those tapping folk in the spare room, on the train, typing away hoping someone will be arsed enough to read any of their well intentioned tosh. Well Frankie ..about 1,000 people a day could be arsed to read what you had to say, and made a point of it. C'mon back out of your shell. If it's pressure that's made you stop, you don't have to do it everyday. It could be like Alistair Cook's weekly letter from America. We just need that fix...

Shame you couldn't have been famous though like that Confidential bloke.. Since you have stopped, Confidential's traffic has gone way through the roof. He's now getting invited to First Nights and Premieres. Pestered for interviews from all the cool mags. Photo shoots for Readers Husbands, that sort of thing. All in his own living room too.

Bloggers Block - Day 10....Man Overboard !

The heat was still oppressive. The boat was still lying idle. My Golden Skinned Lover had long gone. She just dived gracefully overboard (think Arc of a Diver) out of Sheer Boredom. She said something about how the company sucked.... ehh?...what's all that about ?

The rest of the crew (who up to this moment had ceased to exist) wandered aimlessly around deck muttering to themselves. Then the news.....Captain sick....Cap'ns dead. Captain F. Valley has contracted a nasty and extreme dose of Nora Battey Virus and has succumbed horribly.

So it's FV RIP. You and your unique slant on life will be missed greatly. Maybe we can all meet up for the Party on the other side of the universe when Charlton get promoted in May ?

Blogger's Block- Day 5. Dead Calm

The boat is motionless. The sea is like glass. The heat almost unbearable. But this afternoon sun feels so very,very good, deep in the bones. My lover climbs lazily out of the water from her swim and slips out of her wet bikini. I fix her a long drink as she takes up position on the varnished deck. She reaches down for a towel and gently dries herself. I take a drink and watch as she slowly stretches out and lets the sun dry her golden skin.
Hello....who's this nutter coming up in the rowing boat ?

Nothing To Say

Confidential couldn't think of much to say today.....so here's a nice picture!

A New League !

Well, old Confidential has cracked it ! All this recent talk about football losing it's roots,.. it's true. Just a cynical plaything for squillionairs etc.etc.. There was none of that down the Valley last Saturday was there?. A day to rejoice. A day when football won against the odds. Blackpool should be twined with Charlton, we share a common interest.

OK folks here it is. Forget the Premiereship. Forget the Championship. Forget the Whatevermanship. Let's have a new approach. Let's make the Game The King. Let's have a new league . A league where the players play for the love of the game. where fans go to see the skills of the player and a team controlling the ball, not the cynical "gamesmanship" and ref baiting. It could happen. Maybe it's time for an "alternative" league, where football rules. Miles away from the hoofers and yobbos we're all tired of.

Nurse..until it happens, more medication please.

Pirates of North Eurasia

Poor old Gordon. You wanted the job so much and it's all gone a bit wrong hasn't it ? Well Gordon me old mate ..take it from one who knows..Your heart ( and maybe your soul) are in the right place but you have to understand we live in a world where instant judgements are everything and right now you're not cutting the mustard. That's not to say old matey "Dave" Cameron is fairing any better. Look at that hair. Talk about vanity, it's getting darker every time we see him. Is he turning Japanese ?

No the answer for you Gordon is - as a wag on the radio (the guy who's on Mock the Week) said- play to your strengths. Forget about image and wear the eye patch.

Due to an appalling piece of shit luck in your youth, you are disfigured and blind in one eye. So , wear the eye patch. It worked for Moshe citroen Diyane (or whatever his name was), he was a big big hero. You can be too. Listen, who's gonna mess with the Pirate? It'll work..trust me.

You may even get to guest in the next Johnny Depp.

New Cure For Baldness

I was sitting in a trendy caff in Brighton this sunny Sunday morning, having my trendy brunch watching all those bright young good-looking Brighton things taking the air and buying their absurdly thick Sunday papers, when it suddenly dawned on me. "I'm overdue for that makeover."

Yep, old Confidential is looking decidedly very 2007 (actually more like 1967) and it's time to present a new 2008 persona to the outside world.

Reading between the lines of a well known CAFC blog (F. Valley - Fashion Icon) it's obvious to all that 2008 is going to be the year of male hair. Masses of it. On everyone. Mulletts for football heroes. Rough hairy designer stubble for Addick bloggers. Big girlie perms for Danny Mills. Massive village-people moustache for Pards etc.

Which leads on to the problem for all of us crash-helmet jobs. How to get the new 2008 hairy look without resorting to a syrup.

The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. Well more on the bathroom floor actually. All that surplus ear hair that we old-uns regularly have to remove with industrial shears...stop ! Leave it and let it grow and train it out of the ears, over the top of the head and hey presto! The new macho hairy look for 2008 !

Another handy hint for those trying to grow a big Magnum style moustache but lacking in follicles is to adopt the same technique with that lush nose hair. Let it grow and before long you will be seeing Magnum PI or Salvador Dali looking confidently back at you in the bathroom mirror for 2008 instead of that same old boring 2007 bloke who has looked back at you every bloody morning since time began.