Dumb and Dumber

The world’s media were gathered today at Floyd Road to hear the momentous news from the Bush Blair Corporation after what some people have described as the most tense 24 hours they had known since the last tense 24 hours. Massive behind the scenes diplomatic activity has taken place in an attempt to reach a last minute peaceful settlement. Despite pleas from the UN to hold off any further action until the conflict could be resolved peacefully, moves are now underway to mobilise forces to occupy the Valley using military pressure.
A spokesman for the Bush Blair Corporation announced that the recent successful mission of the Glazer Corporation in taking control of the Manchestershire United showed how freedom and democracy could be restored to a region that had previously known only a brutal dictatorship by a Scottish warlord. The spokesman denied suggestions that the sole purpose of removing the dictatorship was to gain access to the production and huge profits from crude merchandising .
Specific and informed Intelligence reports have shown beyond any doubt that the fanatical dictatorship at the Valley has a massive cache of WMD - Worthless Merchandising Dross - which it can launch on an unsuspecting SE7 at any time. One report contained in the highly respected dossier shows how in real terms, within 45 minutes - e.g. from half-time to the final whistle - the WMD can be launched and hit the unsuspecting fans on their way out of the stadium causing maximum sartorial damage.
During the news conference with the two senior figures in the Bush Blair Corporation, an unscripted question was asked by a correspondent concerning the legality of the occupation (he was later removed by security). In reply, the British spokesman replied that the action had been declared fully and constitutionally legal by “my best mate” and that to remove the existing dictatorship was “the right thing to do” and that “history will be my judge”.
At this point the American spokesman re-iterated that the occupation would allow the great Valleyshire people to enjoy the true freedom and democracy afforded by the world’s greatest philanthropic cause. (Believed to be a reference to the Bush Blair Corp) .