The Man with the Golden Sponge

From the Treatment Table with Assistant Physio Phil.
I’m often getting questions about the origins of the treatment techniques we employ and particularly the use of the Magic Sponge and it’s modern sibling, the Magic Spray.
Historical manuscripts and ancient scrolls have revealed that the use of a sponge with magic powers has had immense life giving properties from the earliest recorded times.
The medicinal use of the Magic Sponge can be traced back before Roman times where it was used in the Colliseum during gladiatorial combat. It was found that deep flesh cuts sustained by the short bladed Centurion sword were found to respond favourably to a swift wipe with a damp sponge. In fact the sponge was found to be so successful it was used more and more for often quite serious injuries including severed limbs and rare tropical diseases.
As part of Charlton’s ongoing contribution to social history archives, we have compiled a complete volume of the “The Magic Sponge - Its’ Place in History” which we will be publishing in monthly instalments in this highly regarded web-organ. We will be tracing the history of the sponge from the its earliest appearance in ancient Egypt through to the present day.
After publication, the entire volume - printed on genuine reclaimed Egyptian papyrus and bound in a specially commissioned hand-tooled extinct species leather binding - will be handed over to the British Museum at a special evening at the Valley with a presentation made by our very own Valley goal machine “Super” Kevin Lisbie .
For those unfortunates who are too cheap to access Confidential Rick on the web, the initial May edition will also be available from Newsagents at the special introductory price of £15.99 and will contain your very own piece of replica sponge to start your unique and highly sought after collection.
Each sponge is a superb example of the ability of our craftsmen to painstakingly extract urinary content from plebeian consumers who actually enjoy the experience (or as Don Henley puts it: “They love that sh*t!”).

[ Remember that this initial small part will quickly grow into a magnificently detailed historical tool which you will enjoy handling and will be the envy of your friends !]