Friday, 11 May 2007

Mrs Reg's Diary

Oh dear what a difficult time this is. I’ve been getting increasingly worried about Reg ever since that unfortunate relegation business earlier in the week. After the Spurs game I had his favourite single-malt tipple waiting for him as usual, but as he slumped into his Norton Recliner and downed the glass in one gulp, I knew things had taken a turn for the worse. In truth he’s been acting in a slightly odd way for a while now, ever since the Sheffield United game, getting more morose and tetchy. Our unfortunate cat Floyd, was on the receiving end of a rather unnecessary spiteful kick last night.
Reg seemed to cheer up a bit later after disappearing into the study and making some calls including one to Minty where I overheard snatches about “the tango tosser…ha ha …new consortium…blah blah..blah…..plenty of cash…blah blah..blah”.
This mornings’ post contained some unexpected literature about buying property and ex-pat living in Rio de Janeiro but Reg just brushed them aside saying it was just junk mail. I though this a bit odd, but given his recent moods decided not to pursue it.
This wretched Championship business. I suggested to him it might be a good thing with the players getting to play more games, but he just snorted and disappeared back into his study again. Wish I knew what to do.

Thursday, 10 May 2007

Addicks sign Stopper Bob

In a last minute surprise move before the Addicks play Liverpool, the board have sanctioned the purchase, through an unregistered, anonymous agent, for the services of the highly rated Fantasy League goalie simply known as “Bob”. At a busier than usual photo shoot at the Valley, the cameras flashed as Bob was about to don the Addicks shirt for the first time. Reg Varney said that with POTY Carson unable to play it was necessary to strengthen the squad for this important fixture. Reg went on to say he had been watching Bob for some time and had been impressed by his command of the area and his effective use of the weaponry at his disposal.
When questioned, Bob said he was excited at the prospect of playing between the sticks for the Addicks and was relishing his first game at Anfield. “ I guess I can expect some stick from The Kop but with my trusty Shield of Truth and Sword of British fair play, I know we shall prevail”.
(CAFC Medics stress that the appointment was only conditional at this time and still dependant on pending psychiatric evaluation reports for both Bob and Reg.)

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

It's Operation Anfield !

It‘s the last game of the season so let’s do it in style! For our final away fixture, the board have secured for the Addicks a special, once in a lifetime opportunity to board a luxury liner for an evening mini-cruise bound for Liverpool. For those lucky enough to be part of this extravaganza, the cruise will start with Valley Express pick-up to Southampton. From there they will join the “Ship of Dreams” for a voyage around the western seaboard arriving at Liverpool the next day, in time to be taken by coach to Anfield for the 3pm kick-off.
On board ship, guests will be treated to the highest levels of cuisine with a special nautical theme including Mrs Regs' delicious Seamens' Soup. Dinner is served in the State Dining Room with complimentary drinks including Bulgarian Cava (back by popular demand) and Valley Golden Peculiar .There’s a real treat for music lovers in the Palm Court Bar with a community sing-along featuring those perennial cheeky chappies from the “Below-Stairs Ensemble” who will be singing those popular evergreens including “You’re S**t And You Know You Are”. Later in the evening, you will be welcomed into the Smoking Lounge, where Marcus B will be demonstrating his origami skills.
For those who prefer some on-deck activity, you can meet up with Commodore Murray and his crew who will be on deck organising games including “guess the formation” which involves the constant re-arrangement of the ships’ deck chairs.
In a statement to the fans, Minty expressed his desire for a full turn out claiming that “The Championship is now firmly within our grasp so let’s make this is a proper Night to Remember!”

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