Tuesday 8 January 2008

Pirates of North Eurasia







Poor old Gordon. You wanted the job so much and it's all gone a bit wrong hasn't it ? Well Gordon me old mate ..take it from one who knows..Your heart ( and maybe your soul) are in the right place but you have to understand we live in a world where instant judgements are everything and right now you're not cutting the mustard. That's not to say old matey "Dave" Cameron is fairing any better. Look at that hair. Talk about vanity, it's getting darker every time we see him. Is he turning Japanese ?
No the answer for you Gordon is - as a wag on the radio (the guy who's on Mock the Week) said- play to your strengths. Forget about image and wear the eye patch.
Due to an appalling piece of shit luck in your youth, you are disfigured and blind in one eye. So , wear the eye patch. It worked for Moshe citroen Diyane (or whatever his name was), he was a big big hero. You can be too. Listen, who's gonna mess with the Pirate? It'll work..trust me.
You may even get to guest in the next Johnny Depp.

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