Monday, 15 June 2009

Blue Screen Living

I'm a great lover of action movies me...lots of slo-mo shots of baddies getting chopped up in lots of despicable ways, lots of Detroit steel getting smashed up expensively, lots of lovely beautiful women getting caught up in interesting and most unlikely situations hmm....
I recently watched Sin-City and wow what a movie. Real Art. It was only afterwards when I watched the "bonus bits or how it's all done bit" that they explained that EVERY scene was shot against a blue screen. (For those who don't know, shooting against a Blue Screen enables any shot anywhere,to be added to,deleted, superimposed, digitally added to whatever blah blah but you knew that anyway).
I have to say that knowing all this info actually made the film not quite so great..somehow the magic had gone. Still a great film though, can't wait for Sin-City2.
So here's a title for the next Government Information pack. Why don't we all start living our lives against a Blue Screen ? You could be standing there with your mate in the road talking about the usual mates stuff like "I see they've opened a new KCC" or "isn't it great that Charlton are back in the Premiership under the partnership of Curbs&Reg" or perhaps "maybe that Marcel Proust had a point after all",and be anywhere you like.
With Blue Screen,all of those stimulating and society bonding conversations could be held in much more interesting places. The Manhatten Skyline perhaps or on top of Everest or being chased down the street by Terminator 4.
Maybe we should ask Speilburg or someone to come over to sort this out.There could be some UK votes in it..Speaking as a shallow person,I personaly like the idea of sweeping down to the shops in a convertible '60s American muscle car with a woman sitting next to me who regularly inspire's oil paintings, with some Leonard Cohen sorry ...some ZZtop playing. We could lazily drive down the Santa Monica Boulevard and live our next scene in my fully equiped shining beach-house next to the sea. To make it edgy there has to be some drama so just after a late dinner overlooking the Pacific, settling down with aforsaid oil-painting, a gang of LA lowlife mutants,all of whom are completely off their tits, come crashing in through the floor-to-ceiling glass panels which I happen to know - as a DIY expert of years standing waiting to pay - will enable me to effortlessly remove the razor sharp shards with the right grade of industrial workware and cut the gang to pieces in an heroic slo-mo sort of way..and hey presto I'm a hero in my partners dreamy eyes.... sorted.
The best is, it can all be done in the living room. None of that annoying business of having to mix with other people.
Think of the benefits. No more being herded into holding pens at the airport. No more having to take your shoes off before you stand in-line with your belongings in a washing-up bowl.
Who needs a swimming pool in Marbella when we've got Blue Screen...


Ketts said...

Keep on keeping on Rickster,we really must meet up in Legends earlyin the season.

Marco. said...

I fear Charlton may soon be Blue Square.


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